
Because it is spring and the kids are playing baseball, I have been spending quite a bit of time going into gas stations, Wal-Mart and the ball park to buy drinks and bubble gum before games. Lately, I have been getting quite a bit of commentary on my bumper sticker which says, "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History." For some reason, it is usually from men wearing shorts and loafers with a tan line that starts at their ankles, and they are often lighting a cigarette.
"I like that bumper sticker!"
They say with a laugh that sounds extremely perverted. I talked to Kirsten about this before, and we decided that these men think the bumper sticker means I am a slut that likes to misbehave. They see it as an invitation to try and see if I will misbehave with them. Should I correct them and yell, "It does not mean I like to tie you up and beat you! I will not sleep with you and your hound dog! I will not piss on you in bed, or wear platform sandals and step on your neck while pissing on you!" Well, maybe I will, but that is not what the bumper sticker means.
The other day, my friend Nick said, "I like your bumper sticker" and I felt I needed to clarify its meaning, "It does not mean I am a slut Nick." He looked at me for a minute and said, "I know what it means." I felt shame creep up my neck. I had made an assumption and I was wrong. It was very embarrassing, so from now on, I am going to pretend that every guy that says "I like that bumper sticker" to me, knows what it means and does not want me to step on their neck.
6 comments:
What a wonderful post, this is one of your best!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Oh and Brandi what great advice! You should put THAT on a t-shirt!
I used to wear a shirt that says "Brunettes do it better." Even though I did not mean women who have brown hair are better in bed, (there are no scientific studies that back that theory up), men still took it to mean that I was offering anyone who asked a ride on the K-Train. I stopped wearing it because I was tired of being targeted by pervs. Men ruin everything.
Suddenly your movie suggestions make so much more sense....hmmm
"I will not piss on you in bed"
Fabulous.
My favorite post!!
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