Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Is the Slut in Me Showing?



Because it is spring and the kids are playing baseball, I have been spending quite a bit of time going into gas stations, Wal-Mart and the ball park to buy drinks and bubble gum before games. Lately, I have been getting quite a bit of commentary on my bumper sticker which says, "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History." For some reason, it is usually from men wearing shorts and loafers with a tan line that starts at their ankles, and they are often lighting a cigarette.
"I like that bumper sticker!"
They say with a laugh that sounds extremely perverted. I talked to Kirsten about this before, and we decided that these men think the bumper sticker means I am a slut that likes to misbehave. They see it as an invitation to try and see if I will misbehave with them. Should I correct them and yell, "It does not mean I like to tie you up and beat you! I will not sleep with you and your hound dog! I will not piss on you in bed, or wear platform sandals and step on your neck while pissing on you!" Well, maybe I will, but that is not what the bumper sticker means.
The other day, my friend Nick said, "I like your bumper sticker" and I felt I needed to clarify its meaning, "It does not mean I am a slut Nick." He looked at me for a minute and said, "I know what it means." I felt shame creep up my neck. I had made an assumption and I was wrong. It was very embarrassing, so from now on, I am going to pretend that every guy that says "I like that bumper sticker" to me, knows what it means and does not want me to step on their neck.

6 comments:

K A R I™ said...

What a wonderful post, this is one of your best!!!

Thanks for the laugh!!!

K A R I™ said...

Oh and Brandi what great advice! You should put THAT on a t-shirt!

Kasey said...

I used to wear a shirt that says "Brunettes do it better." Even though I did not mean women who have brown hair are better in bed, (there are no scientific studies that back that theory up), men still took it to mean that I was offering anyone who asked a ride on the K-Train. I stopped wearing it because I was tired of being targeted by pervs. Men ruin everything.

K A R I™ said...

Suddenly your movie suggestions make so much more sense....hmmm

Kirsten said...

"I will not piss on you in bed"

Fabulous.

Anonymous said...

My favorite post!!