I sat at my desk and had a big cry today. I was preparing my syllabus with no idea of where I am going to go in the next two weeks, or how I am going to get there. We start off with short stories, so I am going to do Travels with Charley by Steinbeck, Boys and Girls by Alice Munro, and Everyday Use by Alice Walker. I don't know if it will work, but I will enjoy myself. One of the other new English teachers told me that he has no idea what a lesson plan even is, much less how to write a syllabus. I felt better. One other business teachers told me she has cried three times today. So, I guess life is not so bad for me. Who said to stay out of the Teacher's Lounge?
On another note, my AC is still not working in my room and Open House is tomorrow from 3-6. It will be tropical to say the least. By the end of the day, I look like a sweaty mess and smell like hot dogs. Not a good combination.
3 comments:
I think I cried a total of five times a day when I first started teaching. It's such an overwhelming feeling-- you've got to decide what to teach, how to teach it, and then factor in all the contrivances that will help your class run smoothly. Many veterans have trouble with all these things, so don't beat yourself up. They say that first-time teachers need several years before they actually feel comfortable and happy in their job. It took me a solid year before I stopped crying on a regular basis, but then I'm a bit of a wimp. And the no air-conditioning thing sucks, too. Ninth graders are a smelly bunch, especially the boys. I recommend some good air-freshener-- I always kept several cans on hand. And hand-sanitizer because I don't know about the student bathrooms in your school, but Johnson did not have soap in theirs. What do they expect kids to do? I mean, I found it odd that we were posting bulletins warning of the spread of viral meningytis during August and September and the one preventative measure for children, washing hands, was impossible for the students. That's what's really wrong with our school system. Crazy administrators who just don't think! The heat's getting to me in my cramped and hot (88.2 degrees) office, so I'll end my rant now. :0)
I remember how relieved I felt knowing that everything was already planned for me. I CANNOT IMAGINE doing all that alone. I was walking down the street, thinking of you planning your classes, and I realized that I have NO IDEA how to do a lesson plan.
I think your short story ideas are great! I know it doesn't help much, but things will smooth out in the end. Just think, after you work all the kinks out this year, you will NEVER have to worry about lesson plans again, they will already be done. :)
I'm sorry friend. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time and that you have no AC. I know it's no consolation now, but things will get better. (I'm going to get mushy) We all love you and are thinking of you. You're a fabulous person and you'll be a wonderful teacher. Your students are going to love you!
(PS--I too think your short stories wound great!)
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