Whew! Another Week Over

I am so glad it is Friday! I am in a groove now, and although I am still working hard, it is not as hard as it was the first few weeks. I began a series of grammar lessons when I tried to do a mad lib and my eleventh graders asked me what an "ad-g-tive" was, only to be followed by what is a "preposition?" They hated it but I think they needed to be reminded of the little things.
I also read "Barn Burning" by William Faulkner. It was surprising, but a few of my less advanced students really liked it, while my "advanced" students thought it was lame. I am beginning to break down some walls and have the kids trust me. I have a few that I just simply do not like, and I don't know what to do about it. One boy just is plain old dirty, and he always wants to touch you. When his hands are on my back, I can feel the heat from them even after he removes them. He wore flip-flops one day and his toes were covered in dirt. Gross!
And then there are the kids who break my heart. I find myself mothering them, and they just melt under any type of compassion. Some days I have to walk up to them as they drop their heads on the desk and say, "you can do this. Just give me a little effort." I do not push and by the end of class, they sheepishly hand me the assignment I gave them. They may never be scholars, but I hope that I can, for just a moment, make them feel loved and cared for. They need it so much. Today, a girl in my class was called to the office. She came back a few minutes later sobbing and put her head on the desk. I took her outside to see what was wrong, and she told me that DFACS came by to question her because someone reported that she was having sex with her father. I did not know what to say. I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted to go to the office. She walked back in class and just sat her head back down. What can I do for her?
I did a timed essay that asked what can our education system do to keep kids from dropping out of school. Here is one kids answer:
"Teachers should let kids go to the bathroom whenever they want because the reason kids drop out of school is because teachers will not let kids go pee when they want to." Nice.

It's Nice of You to Notice

To those of you so kind as to make me feel missed, I promise I will post on Friday. I could do it everyday, but time does not permit. Trey is playing football and so I come from school and pick him up and go to sit on a hard bench for two hours. I need it though. Trey has all of a sudden decided that school is torture and he does not want to go. I feel that it is a reaction against school because of my teaching experience. I think he feels my tension and so he is focusing anger on school. He will be fine - both of us will. The Crucible is going badly. However, the class perked up when they heard that one of the girls was naked in the woods. I need lots of advice. Here is a fun assignment for my clever friends - We have to create "Activators" before we begin a new lesson. Something that will get the kids excited about what we are going to study. Before we began a character writing assignment, my activator was to put a bunch of classic and modern well-known characters on the board and asked them to pick a character and give me three reasons why they know, remember and like that character. It was OK, but if you can think of something for the other elements of the short story, anything is welcome. More later!

Fun With Words

From a "Do Now" in my class:
"You never know if you are setting someone up with a child mullester or something . . "

What o Do?

I spend all weekend trying to find a way to teach my 11th graders skills they should already have. To quote Napoleon Dynamite, "They don't have any skills." In response to my writing prompt, "What type of career do you want to have when you finish high school? Give me three reasons you want that career," one girl wrote: "I want to be a nurse cause I like to help people. After I get finished with nursing I want to go to cosmotology school because I like to do hair."
Another girl wants to be a plastic surgeon because, "some people are misshapen and deformed and I would like to give them a boost of confidence."
Another boy said he wanted to be a "street pharmacist."
Princes wrote that she wanted to be "a surgeon." This makes sense because she told a boy in class one day, "If you touch me again, I will cut you mofo."
Others just wrote three reasons why they wanted to be something: "I lik baseball. I lik money. I lik playing baseball." Makes sense to me.

In my 10th grade class, I have a boy who is extraordinarily gay. He wears shirts that say, "Taste the Rainbow," and "I'm not gay but my wiener is." He is in the color guard and wears long earrings. He is in a class, a school really, full of rednecks and homophobes. Actually, he is in one of my better classes, but the kids in the back keep throwing things at him. They are too fast for me to catch them, but Cody complains everyday. On Friday, he made a sexual remark to a boy that called him a faggot and I thought there was going to be a fight. I tried to talk to them about kindness - you may not like what someone else does, but we must be kind to each other. They listened and sat down, but I fear this is situation will erupt into violence one day. What do I do? Should I ask the gay kid to tone it down? Ignore it and continue to teach kindness? I am at a loss.

I've Lost Track

Well the roller coaster continues. I could blog everyday about what happens in my strange classroom, but I spend all of my time working and planning for the next day. I finally started writing kids up. One told me to shut up and he spent 3 days in ISS. I was thrilled to see him go and hated it when he returned. He's a mouth-breather that thinks he is too cool for anyone. I have to say that I hate him - not something I like feeling, but honestly, he is a smart mouth. I found comfort in the fact that all the teachers hate him - loathe him in fact.

I am still struggling with my eleventh graders. They are a surly bunch and they sometimes ruin my entire day - I have them first period. It has been difficult to get through the Puritans, but I thought they may enjoy Patrick Henry's "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" speech. I talked about how we are persuaded, and I had them do an ad analysis, like we did in rhetoric Kirsten. I asked them to bring in an ad and only two did - out of 30. Luckily, I was prepared with some ad's from O magazine. They did not like it but they did it. It was like pulling teeth to get them to talk. I talked about persuasion - how are you persuaded? Who can persuade you? I enjoyed it, but they did not seem to really care. The next day I asked them this question, "What would persuade you to go to war?" Blank stares. I pushed. Many said "Nothing." I introduced Patrick Henry and his speech to the Virginia Convention. Before reading his speech, I showed them a clip from Braveheart - the one where he stirs them up to fight the English even though they were outnumbered. They liked it, but mainly because of the cursing and mooning. After watching that, I read Henry's speech. I got into it - not because of them, but because I was inspired. It really is quite a nice speech. As I am reading I hear, "You gettin into this Ms." Yeah - I really was. for a few minutes, all their eyes were on me and I could feel their interest. Alas today was another confrontational day: no books or talking; except for rude comments. Back on the rollercoaster.

The stories I hear from these kids are heartbreaking - and funny. Here is an example of an original simile written by one of my kids - "Neal is such a good player its like he's Isaac Newton." Cute.

I miss all of you very much. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of each of you. Love you!

Week 2

Friday's seem to end on a good note. Today, state superintendent Cathy Cox was in our school. The administration stressed that we should have our rooms ready and our students well behaved for her visit. Well, I knew at least I could have my room clean. Someone must be praying for me because Cathy Cox came down our hallway during my 6th period class - my AP class. I am blessed to have a room full of bright and energetic 10th graders. They are cute and loud - very loud. I was teaching them about irony in poetry and they just weren't getting it, so I broke out in song - literally. The Alaniss Morisette song "Isn't it Ironic" sprang from my lips before I could even think about what I was doing. The kids loved it, although a few called American Idol on an imaginary phone and said, "Hello, American Idol? I do not want to vote for Ms. Taylor." They were laughing and learning - something hard to do at their age - when the door opened and in walked our principal, Cathy Cox, our assistant principal and two school board members.
Ms. Cox said, "you are having too much fun in here, what are you learning about?" The class shouted "Poetry."
"Poetry's not suppopsed to be fun is it?"
Here's the part I really like - One of the girls up front said, "It never was before Ms. Taylor."
Oh, how nice and proud I felt. The principal whispered, "Nice job" in my ear and Ms. Cox stayed in our class for quite a while. When they told her she had to go, she turned to me and said, "very lovely job. You should be proud."
As the door closed, our principal said, "That is one of our first year teachers."
I strained my ears to hear Ms. Cox's response of "Impressive."
That was a really nice feeling, but if she had come just 30 minutes later she would have seen the same teacher (me), giving the same lesson and doing the same thing, but getting a very different response from another class. In my last class, I took up a deck of cards, two cell phones, and stopped some kids from playing a spirited game of "Quarters." Peaks and Valleys. Ups and Downs. I have to say though that the peaks were better than the valley's today.

Still Diving

Well, I survived my first long week as a teacher. Friday ended on a great note when my seventh period class of delinquents actually behaved and produced some work for me. In that class alone, out of 35 students, 23 of them have over 15 disciplinary referrals, and they are only in the 10th grade. However, one is 18 and one is 17 so I guess they have been around a while. They are amazingly low performers. They have no idea how to spot a simile or a metaphor and repeatedly misuse words - Where for Wear; hear for here. In the first week alone I have thought to myself, "Well, I can just give them busy work until I can figure out how to reach them." I have thought and said just about everything I told myself I would never do. I yelled "Be quiet" yesterday after repeatedly asking them to "listen up." They responded to a yell when a respectful request would not work. I am going to point this out to them later on, when I know them better.
Public school - at least at McIntosh - has the feel of a prison. Adults standing around ordering those in the hall to move along. I was not prepared for the barriers the kids put up between me and them. They view me as the enemy, not to be trusted, and hold me at arms length. There are a few who have already declared me the "nicest teacher in the school," and allow me to help them. I caught one boy spitting on the floor in my class and I said, "Tyler, do you know that there is a little old lady that comes through here and cleans up these classrooms. She is someone's mother. Would you want your mother to have to clean up someone's spit?"
"Yes maam" he responded, "because my mother is a piece of low life trash."
"No she is not," I said, and the girl sitting next to him said "Yes she is Ms. Taylor. You just don't know. His grandmother has him now and it is the best thing that ever happened to him."
What do you say to that? I told him that he can change his life and what his mother does is not his fault. Maybe he will believe me. He just got back from the alternative school and I really hope I can help him. But there are so many! It is truly overwhelming. I never dreamed it would be this hard, but the moments that you see some progress outweigh the bad. Things like, "Ms. Taylor, Ms. Boyd went over this last year and I never understood it, but you make it so easy." I can see why teachers return again and again to overcrowded classrooms and lousy pay. Next week we study the Puritan writers and begin introducing The Crucible. I will keep you updated.

I forgot to tell you where the "Word Work" sign came from - Tony Morrison's Nobel Prize acceptance speech - "Word work is sublime . . . "

The Puritans

I need a little help with the Puritans. Today's lesson went over like a flop. They liked the part where I talked about what it means to lose something and how Bradstreet thanked God for her loss, but after that it was all down hill. Plus, I spelled unconditional wrong and the girl who rolled her eyes at me pointed it out and laughed. Butt hole.

The Inferno

I was watching Grizzly Man today and found a perfect metaphor for my first day as a high school teacher. The man they were interviewing about the grizzly guy said, "I guess he thought he was going to get out there with those bears and it was going to be a feeling of mutual respect and love. I guess he thought they would see that he cared and it would be some type of beautiful relationship. What he did not know was that the bears just wanted to eat him." I feel like the grizzly man. I trapsed into the classroom believing that the kids would see how nice I am, and how much I want to help them. Instead, they saw dinner, or a snack really. They devoured me in short order. By the fourth period, I wanted to go home and never come back. Right now, I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of returning tomorrow. I waver between confidence and desolation. I have worked all weekend preparing for next week, but I do not know if I can get them to shut up and listen. I have to start my eleventh graders with the Puritans and the Pilgrims and I have to find a way to make them care. I am going to do Ann Bradstreet's poem about the burning of her house and the loss of her grandchild. I will introduce these poems by asking the kids to write about a traumatic event in their life and explain how they handles that tragedy. Maybe that will build up a sense of empathy with the little ones. We will see. I know that if I do not give up, it will be ok. Pray that I will have a better week.

Some Did Not Show Up

 
  

My Lame Room

Due to lack of resources and time (and creativity), I could not do my bulletin board the way I wanted too. Here it is though. I start with my students tomorrow and I really liked the kids and parents I met at Open House tonight. I am going to be such a marshmallow . . . Does anyone recognize where I got the phrase "Word Work" from? We have to have a word wall with a minimum of 5 new words a week. Everyone said "Word Wall" on their board, but I decided to have a nice literary illusion. Whoever recognizes it gets 5 quiz points . . .

 
 
 
  

Whaaaaaa!!!!

I sat at my desk and had a big cry today. I was preparing my syllabus with no idea of where I am going to go in the next two weeks, or how I am going to get there. We start off with short stories, so I am going to do Travels with Charley by Steinbeck, Boys and Girls by Alice Munro, and Everyday Use by Alice Walker. I don't know if it will work, but I will enjoy myself. One of the other new English teachers told me that he has no idea what a lesson plan even is, much less how to write a syllabus. I felt better. One other business teachers told me she has cried three times today. So, I guess life is not so bad for me. Who said to stay out of the Teacher's Lounge?

On another note, my AC is still not working in my room and Open House is tomorrow from 3-6. It will be tropical to say the least. By the end of the day, I look like a sweaty mess and smell like hot dogs. Not a good combination.

No Breathable Air

I am finding it difficult to make time to post, so I will give you the "quick and dirty" version of what it going on in my first full week as a teacher. I am finding that "quick and dirty" is a favorite phrase in the education world.

1. I have to write the syllabus for the entire English tenth grade. I found out today that the lady that "hates me" because I was teaching the 11th grade AP class she "hand-picked," went to the principal to get "her" class back. I don't care - I did not even know the kids - so I am doing 10th grade AP and one 11th grade class. No 9th graders!!! Too bad though - they would not know that I did not know what I was doing.

2. I have to turn in 5, yes 5, emergency lesson plans to the assistant principal - by 11am on Thursday.

3. I have to find some way to get them to make my non-working air conditioner a priority - It is way too hot in my room, and my makeup and hair are fading quickly.

4. Get the Jew-boy that teaches Social studies to give me some type of assistance. Just kidding.

5. Decorate my hot room before open house on Thursday evening.

All in all I feel overwhelmed. The feeling is familiar - like the first time I took Dr. Winterhalter and she went over her syllabus. You know, the feeling that you are in way over your head and have no idea what is going on. It is pretty distressing, but I think it will be OK.
More Updates coming soon.

Ideas

I know many of you have already responded to my questions about room decoration, and all of you have given me some great ideas. Now, I need some more help. Brandi had the idea of taking some great quotes and putting them on my board, or even around the room. Now I need you to send me one of your favorite quotes. If you have not given me any room decorating ideas, then send those too - I know I am needy. . .

Our Little Girl is Growing Up

Malinda sent me an email the other day that mentioned the fact that I was growing up. She is right in a lot of ways because I have never felt like a grown up before. I have never worked at a serious job, where I had serious responsibilities, or where I was considered a professional. Now that I am entering the grown up professional world of teaching, I have to admit it feels nice. I know McIntosh is a small school system, in a small crappy town, but they have treated me like they are thrilled to have me; like I am someone valuable to them. I get letters from the school board telling me what is going to happen in the next week, and how excited they are to have me as a member of their team, and it feels very nice. I got a letter from the principal yesterday detailing our first full week of school starting on the 7th. It involves a lot of training, but there is also a lot of time to spend "Working in Rooms," and I have to admit that I look forward to that part the most.

I could not help but notice that their are quite a few male teachers at MCA. I told my friend Tammi, maybe I'll meet a nice boy. She reminded me of Phil and I felt sort of bad, but I have to admit, the thought of meeting someone else is on my mind. All of the social studies teachers are male - one is named Rosenbaum - a nice Jew boy. Hmmmm . . .

In the next few days, I am going to try and put up some pictures of me modeling my new school clothes so you can tell me what to wear on the day of New Teacher Orientation (August 1), Open House (August 10) and the first day of school (August 11).

The "It" Girl

When I was in the book store yesterday I was looking for the new paperback Harry Potter book for Hope. As I looked around the new books for youth, I saw the book above and could not help but pick it up. It looked too provocative to be next to Out of the Dust, Kira-Kira and Island of the Blue Dolphins. So, I looked it over and here is what it said on the back:

"Every girl dreams about it. Some just have it. How far will one girl go to become...The It Girl
Popular GOSSIP GIRL character Jenny Humphrey is making a splash at Waverly Academy, an elite boarding school in New York horse country where glamorous rich kids don't let the rules get in the way of an excellent time. It's less than a week into school, but Jenny's already been caught with her roommate's boyfriend (in bed!), flashed the whole school at a field hockey game, and gone up against the Disciplinary Committee. She's become notorious, just like Tinsley Carmichael, Waverly's former-it girl, who was expelled last year and is rumored to be jet-setting around the world. So what happens when Tinsley arrives back on campus and moves in with Jenny? After all, there can only be one It Girl..."

I am not prudish, but having a daughter who will turn 13 in two weeks made me wonder about the type of books Hope, and the other girls around her are reading. Hope reads nothing if it does not involve Harry Potter, wizards or animals, but I know a lot of girls her age read things like this and it really influences their way of thinking. The girl on the cover of this book is so thin and blond. We have all seen the high-school girls, and 40 year old women for that matter, that do one reckless thing after the other to be the "It" girl. Who feel that they must be the center of attention. Books like this really encourage this type of competition between girls who will eventually be women. I guess teen books have always had the theme of "belonging", but in the past, they seemed to encourage difference. Being different was something to be proud of, at least by the end of the book. Not so anymore it seems. What do you think?

Another Crazy Movie

I fell asleep last night with the television on, and when I woke up at 4am, I was captivated by the movie on the screen. I pressed "Info" on my remote and saw that this film was called "Retro Puppet Master," and here is the film's description: "It's 1892 and Sutekh is hopping mad. It seems a 3,000 year old Egyptian sorcerer has stolen one of the God's secrets of life - that of instilling the souls of the dying into inanimate things. . . " I put a link to the trailer in, but I do not think the trailer does this creepy film justice.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0189047/trailers-screenplay-E12033-10-2

To me, puppets are the creepiest things in the world. When I was young, I spent the first 8 years of my life sleeping between my mom and dad. I was terrified of sleeping alone in my own room. Finally, my parents insisted (I wonder why) that I sleep in my room. I can clearly remember how scared I was that first night, but I was also determined. A lady in our church, Mrs. Kelleher, had made me a clown made out of yarn. Some of you may remember them - they had twisty, long yarn arms and a styrofoam head with shaky eyes and a big red mouth. The one in the picture above is pink, and mine was red and instead of hair, he had one of those pointy dunce caps on its head, but it is a fairly accurate representation of what my clown looked like. Mrs. Kelleher also made ducks out of Clorox bottles, but that is another story. My mother hung the clown in the corner of my room "to keep me company." Nice gesture, but clowns are about as freaky as puppets. As I lay in my bed, with my eyes closed, I swear I heard the sound of a knife whizzing by my head and when I jerked opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was that damn clown hanging in the corner, grinning at me; his red lips looking as if they were covered in my blood. I grabbed my throat and made sure that I had not been stabbed, and when I felt no injury, I got up and grabbed the clown and threw him outside of my room.

I made it through the night, and the next morning I could not stop talking about how proud I was of myself. My brother Robbie looked at me across the breakfast table, with his smelly and disgusting mixture of grits and eggs on his plate and said, "I wish you would shut up." I did shut up, and I remember the way it felt to have my proud moment ruined by my brother's harsh words.

Bitching and Moaning

The title to this post is not very accurate, but I could not say "Rants and Raves" because that would infringe on Kirsten's territory. I went on Friday and signed my contract with the McIntosh county school system. I am officially employed! I began to be a little nervous when I had not been asked by them to come in and sign my contract. I thought that they had decided not to hire me and hated me so much that they were not going to call and tell me. But they did call and I went. They are having new teacher orientation on August 1st so I get to go and meet the other new teachers and get all of my benefit information. I am so thrilled that I can get dental insurance that includes orthodontics. Trey can finally get his gap closed :) I worked my bum off to pay the 3,700 dollars for Reese's braces, but it was well worth it - nothing says "Neglect" like a messed up grill. That may be harsh, but I hate screwed up teeth, and one time, on Oprah, they had an expert that says people judge you first and foremost by your teeth. I am also happy that I can get some much needed work done to my own neglected grill. I also found out that the governor is giving all Georgia teachers a $100 gift card to use for materials for their classroom. The human resource lady did not make it clear that this was for the classroom, so I thought it was just a gift for the teachers. So I had my first gaffe when I said,
"Oh great, I have three little ones to get ready for school and that will come in handy."
"No. That card is only for your classroom."
I was embarrassed. Now she will think I am a dull creature. I thought the card was a nice gesture from governor Purdue, but the lady in human resources, Ms. Starr, said that it was only because it was an election year. Well, thanks anyway Sonny.

On another note, in last nights Brunswick news (you can read it online at www.thebrunswicknews.com) there was an article about the findings of an investigation into the discipline referrals in the Glynn county schools. The investigation revealed that minority students make up a disproportionate number of discipline referrals and that it seems to be the same teachers over and over again. This morning, I listened to Straight Talk on the local AM station and they were discussing the article. One of the principals in town makes her teachers read Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne so they can understand how poverty affects a child's learning experience. Sounds like a great idea to me. One guy called in and said, "I think it is just crazy that that principal makes everyone read that book. I mean, you are asking teachers to dumb themselves down is ridiculous."
Yeah, reading a book is asking teachers to "dumb down." What on earth are people thinking? Do they really think that trying to understand the lives of their students is not a good thing? That knowing what it is like to be hungry and have a crack head for a mom or dad would not be useful for a teacher? I was infuriated and I tried to get through but the lines were jammed up with idiots who wanted to express the same opinion as that moron. OK. I feel better now.

A New Favorite

I have been a little to needy lately, so I thought I would share a website with you that I have fallen in love with. Most of you are probably familiar with it, but I am always a johnny-come-lately. It is www.theonion.com. It has headlines such as "Deadlocked Supreme Court: Someone's Voting Twice," "Comedian Confesses to Killing them Out There," "Giant Cockroach In Bathroom 'A Harrowing,Kafkaesque Experience,' Grad Student Says," and my favorite so far, "$18 Payment To Sponsored Child Withheld To Teach Child A Lesson."

Lately, every news story depresses me. It seems as if the world is in a state of turmoil and I fear for the future of my children, so a little humor is always appreciated.

This is How I Feel

I love sunflowers. They usually stand so tall and beautiful. They usually look as if they are smiling and enjoying the sun on their upturned faces. I was walking around yesterday, and it was so incredibly hot and humid, that when I saw this flower, I thought: "This is how I feel." The heat has just sapped me of my ability to enjoy being outside, which is something I always like to do, but it is just too hot to appreciate anything other than an air conditioned room.

I am also very disappointed in myself. I was going to take the time I had off from school to lose forty pounds before I began teaching. Once again I failed to meet my goal. I have not been going to the gym or eating healthy like I know I should. I just cannot seem to gain control over my eating habits. Self-control and discipline allude me in the areas of food and exercise. I am reading a book I borrowed from Audrey about personal finance called the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Last night I read a line that struck me as absolutely true: "The only thing stopping me from being skinny and rich is the man in the mirror." He is right. For me, rich is a distant second to skinny. Given the choice, I would chose skinny any day. So why is it that I cannot attain something so seemingly important to me? In the real, I only have myself to blame.